It’s official. I’m not real. That’s what was thought of me from the other night. Now I know what the young lady meant by I was not what she thought, I was nice. I was not what she expected. I have no idea what she was expecting, I was invited to hang out have a few drinks some food and conversation. That was all. I was not invited to a fetish party, a Femdom party; I was invited to what was mentioned above. If had known I was going to be tested, or there was going to be a pop quiz, I would have come prepared with two number 2 pencils. But to have someone ask “is she a real Femdom”, well that just make me want to know what is real to them?
I have no control over what people expect when they met me for the very first time. I found it interesting that a few hours spent in the company of less then ten people one person could make a judgment call about me. Some people met me and assume I’m a bit of a snob, and that’s more of a true statement, then are you a real Femdom?
I’ve been asked this before, my response to this is always the same, “you read Femdom fiction, right?” why is it that people don’t or can’t understand that because I’m a certain personality type and like my sex a certain way I’m to act, yes ACT like a bitch, or some other ridiculous way they perceive in their little minds.
That’s like assuming because I’m Black I like fried chicken and watermelon, and know Sidney Poitier. I was told because I asked if she wanted something and then went to get it I was labeled not a real Femdom, because only a submissive would do that. Wow, since when does being polite to another human being make me not real?
Here I am going through life thinking, since my family taught me some social skills, this is the way one was when they were raised outside the barn and not in side the barn. I guess I was wrong, if I call myself a Femdom I should just go around being a bitch, society be dammed!?!
I guess I’m not real, if I was I wouldn’t have spent my only day free from work doing the following:
Making my own morning coffee
Washing my own ass and dressing myself
Taking out the garbage
Going food shopping and having to pay for the food and carry my own bags home Putting away the food
Making my own breakfast and washing the dishes
Sweeping and mopping my apartment
Having to take a piss and not having anyone here to carry me to the bathroom and pull down my pants, wipe me clean then flush the toilet, pull up my pants and carry me back to the living room.
A couple of things, I don’t have anyone in my life right now to do some of those things. If I did have someone in my life right now, I don’t have a problem doing some of those things. I live in the real damn world and some of these things have to be done if I want to live a certain way.
I’m so fucking fake! Real Femdoms don’t do house work.
The commercial about a mind being a terrible thing to waste, was true. The sad thing about this young woman’s observation of me is this. She may come across someone who is just a prick/cunt and she’ll think she’s met the Dom of her dreams; when all she’s really met is an asshole.
A couple of years back at TES I was a presenter at the dominate women’s submissive men’s group I presented on caning. I met a gentleman there, we exchanged numbers and went out a couple of times to Paddles, lunch we talked a lot about D/s. he was tiered of meeting woman who wanted to use him (not in the good way). One day about three weeks in he asked when do we get to the femdom stuff? Foolish me I though we were still getting to know each other. Although we did scene as it were at the club, he was ready for more. I was not, for me starting a relationship whether the goal is to have a white picked fence or to be hogtied and flogged, there has to be some courtship.
Which is again my point about what is real, how is realness determined in one meeting? Real is what the two or however many people involved call it. Someone else determining for me what is real, if I’m real is bullshit. If you like slapping your mate around on the weekends, then go for it, if it about getting all done up in latex and speaking stern to your mate, go for it. If that’s how you roll, find your joy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a certain kind of relationship and perusing that. That’s what most of us are doing.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not interested in being in a relationship with someone who is not into being hit with things that might leave a mark, I’m a little bit of a sadist (okay a lot).
But I will have a conversation with a person. If there’s a common interest in other things I might even have the opportunity for friendship. But to supper impose your one true way ideal onto someone you have not given the time and energy to get to know, says more about you then them. To me it says “please abuse me.”
But I could be wrong <stepping off my soap box>