Devaint

While drinking a Corona and making a puff pastry piazza I started thinking about myself. I had been tying up boys and girls and having my way with them, since I became sexual active. My guy at the time called me a sexual sadist. I remember letting him know right there and then that it was the tying up and hitting him that I got off on. The sex was just a benefit, like when you go to Macy’s and you get a free gift with purchase. When I was in my 20s I made two life changing decision. 1) I would never be ashamed of what I liked sexually and 2) I would not apologize for liking it.

 

This brings me to what I really want to write about. There’s some discussion on axe’s blog about him not finding what he wants in a relationship.  It dawned on me why is the focus on him? He’s fine, and makes no apologies for it. It’s really the women that are missing out on something good. He obviously doesn’t have a problem meeting women. But the women are passing on him, which says more about them. With the way all women bemoan at times about finding a great guy, it kills me that they can’t find it in them to have the kind of guy axe is.

 

Every girl drinks the cool aide they are given from their mother. Find a guy who treats you like a Queen. You would think with all the imagines of dominance displayed by women in the media and advertising, young women might think its okay to display this as their personality, if it is in their personality?

 

http://ldyraven.wordpress.com/the-theatre/

 

http://unspeakableaxe.com/?tag=found-femdom

 

Even across the pond they are getting their shit together, to a degree.

 

 http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1821863,00.html?iid=sphere-inline-sidebar

 

So, while thinking about myself and some others I know, I’ve come up with this:

If you haven’t experimented with your “deviant” urges while young, you may live a life of quite despair, until you’re much older a few kids and marriages later only to find that. Yep, you guessed it, maybe what you thought was “deviant,” not normal or just plain weird was not so deviant after all.

 

Until next time Perverts  

About A Profile

I am a Sadist by nature, A Top during casual play and a Master all the time. Some may believe that a Sadist like myself hates men. This is not true; some of my good friends are Sadist and are in loving, caring relationships. I enjoy activities, which are like a dance. One, which involves Pain, Passion and Pleasure. I have a very strong will and a strange sense of humor. I grew up watching the women in my family rule. Doing a dance of their own, that many witnessed but very few knew how. These were my first lessons in Female Dominance. It takes a special kind of individual to be with me, one should be a true to them selves. Whether a novice, masochist or submissive. Novice should be willing to be honest about where they are at and where they are willing to go. Submissive should come willing to submit. I am a Lady and have no desire to wrestle your submission from you. I do not wrestle, well maybe a little. To be apart of my world I require one to be healthy physically, mentally and spiritually, to a large degree. This means if you are trying to work through some erotic slavery issues and want to grovel at a Black Woman’s feet and be called names, you will be disappointed. I have had the opportunity to learn some things from some great people. I’ve also had the opportunity to teach some of my skill. I have been told that my face always looks like I am up to mischief. I also like reading, movies and art or just a nice night of hanging out. I’m hoping to meet people who have a sense of humor and are like minded.

 

I have updated my about page, which is the same as the one of fetlife. But for the life of me I can’t understand why any one would want to contact me without reading something about me. Granted a few paragraphs about me does not tell anyone all there is but it does touch on some things that I feel are important enough for someone to know.

So imagine my surprise when contacted from someone who is into humiliation and race play. Did they not see/ read my about/profile?

I write about a lot of things I’m interested in on here, so I guess it’s time I jot down what I’m not into. In time I might change. But if I haven’t by now…well.

I have no desire to:

 See a man in my underwear, or women’s underwear he’s bought for himself or a dress. Sissies are nice from a far. I know a few that show great skill at parties.

I have a view on liquid bonding but I draw the line at scat.

Any kind of age play is out. And as I wrote nothing to do with slavery in the sense of some erotic plantation play.

I love looking at pony play, but it doesn’t interest me to own any kind of animal.

So there it is, not long although I’m sure there are some others I can’t think of them right now.

Until next time Perverts, remember your kink may not be mine but I’m not knocking it.

Real FemDommes Don’t Do Housework

It’s official. I’m not real.  That’s what was thought of me from the other night. Now I know what the young lady meant by I was not what she thought, I was nice. I was not what she expected. I have no idea what she was expecting, I was invited to hang out have a few drinks some food and conversation. That was all. I was not invited to a fetish party, a Femdom party; I was invited to what was mentioned above. If had known I was going to be tested, or there was going to be a pop quiz, I would have come prepared with two number 2 pencils. But to have someone ask “is she a real Femdom”, well that just make me want to know what is real to them?

I have no control over what people expect when they met me for the very first time. I found it interesting that a few hours spent in the company of less then ten people one person could make a judgment call about me. Some people met me and assume I’m a bit of a snob, and that’s more of a true statement, then are you a real Femdom? 

I’ve been asked this before, my response to this is always the same, “you read Femdom fiction, right?” why is it that people don’t or can’t understand that because I’m a certain personality type and like my sex a certain way I’m to act, yes ACT like a bitch, or some other ridiculous way they perceive in their little minds.

That’s like assuming because I’m Black I like fried chicken and watermelon, and know Sidney Poitier. I was told because I asked if she wanted something and then went to get it I was labeled not a real Femdom, because only a submissive would do that. Wow, since when does being polite to another human being make me not real?

Here I am going through life thinking, since my family taught me some social skills, this is the way one was when they were raised outside the barn and not in side the barn. I guess I was wrong, if I call myself a Femdom I should just go around being a bitch, society be dammed!?!   

I guess I’m not real, if I was I wouldn’t have spent my only day free from work doing the following: 

Making my own morning coffee

Washing my own ass and dressing myself

Taking out the garbage

Going food shopping and having to pay for the food and carry my own bags home Putting away the food

Making my own breakfast and washing the dishes

Sweeping and mopping my apartment

Having to take a piss and not having anyone here to carry me to the bathroom and pull down my pants, wipe me clean then flush the toilet, pull up my pants and carry me back to the living room.

A couple of things, I don’t have anyone in my life right now to do some of those things. If I did have someone in my life right now, I don’t have a problem doing some of those things. I live in the real damn world and some of these things have to be done if I want to live a certain way. 

I’m so fucking fake! Real Femdoms don’t do house work. 

The commercial about a mind being a terrible thing to waste, was true. The sad thing about this young woman’s observation of me is this. She may come across someone who is just a prick/cunt and she’ll think she’s met the Dom of her dreams; when all she’s really met is an asshole. 

A couple of years back at TES I was a presenter at the dominate women’s submissive men’s group I presented on caning. I met a gentleman there, we exchanged numbers and went out a couple of times to Paddles, lunch we talked a lot about D/s. he was tiered of meeting woman who wanted to use him (not in the good way).  One day about three weeks in he asked when do we get to the femdom stuff?  Foolish me I though we were still getting to know each other. Although we did scene as it were at the club, he was ready for more. I was not, for me starting a relationship whether the goal is to have a white picked fence or to be hogtied and flogged, there has to be some courtship. 

Which is again my point about what is real, how is realness determined in one meeting? Real is what the two or however many people involved call it. Someone else determining for me what is real, if I’m real is bullshit. If you like slapping your mate around on the weekends, then go for it, if it about getting all done up in latex and speaking stern to your mate, go for it. If that’s how you roll, find your joy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a certain kind of relationship and perusing that. That’s what most of us are doing.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not interested in being in a relationship with someone who is not into being hit with things that might leave a mark, I’m a little bit of a sadist (okay a lot).

But I will have a conversation with a person. If there’s a common interest in other things I might even have the opportunity for friendship.  But to supper impose your one true way ideal onto someone you have not given the time and energy to get to know, says more about you then them. To me it says “please abuse me.”  

But I could be wrong <stepping off my soap box>  

Later perverts