Give Me My Money Bitch

So here I was thinking I was the only if not the last person in America who didn’t receive my stimulus check.

 

Since I live in America and have to work my ass off to do the little things like eat, I didn’t have time to sit in my Uncle’s house. Until recently, and by recent I mean on my day free from the plantation. This of course took away from the one day I have to do all the things, submissive men think femdommes do. It cut into my doing laundry, food shopping, and cleaning my apartment. Oh, and is it just me or do the submissive guys never write about the fantasy about cleaning my freaking apartment, or doing my laundry and food shopping. Guess it’s not sexy? But then living a real D/s life is not all about what’s sexy.

 

Anyway back to my Uncle. So I remember there’s an IRS office on 1-2-5 and drag my ass there for the 8:30am opening of the office since I didn’t want to be sitting there all day. Walking along the building to the entrance I thought I was going to the drug spot due to the darken windows. Walking to the metal detectors the security guard who was on the phone told me to place my items in the basket, all the while not breaking his conversation with some girl about what I have no clue. Did I mention it was 8:30 in the morning? I walked in and great day in Harlem I was the only on there. As I walked to the front desk to pick a number, a woman standing near the desk was talking with someone in the office which I couldn’t see in. I took a seat as she glanced at me she, like the guard never broke her conversation with the mysterious person in the office. Her conversation was all about how she was so happy about the election and how she, you know had to hook her man up. And to my shock told in great detail how she did it. It’s now almost 9am and I’ve heard two conversations that I had/have no interest in especially at this time of the morning. The woman to my surprise finally got done with “sharing” and came over to help me. Not batting an eye about what she had just said and the whole room heard.

She asked a few questions while slurping the liquid in her cup and I took the seat again to wait. Now its 915am, she pulls out some reading material a Zane book, why am I not surprised? At 9:30 my number is called and I walk to the window. A young lady who was not slurping her tea, said good morning, asked for identification and asked me to verify my address. All of which I did, she said my address was wrong and corrected it, then asked why I was there? Not receiving my stimulus check, even she did a double take, “well I guess it’s because we have the wrong address?”

 

So, at 8:45am, I was assured the mistake was corrected and I would have to wait 4 to 6 weeks for my Uncle to pay up.

Stepping out of the storefront with the darken windows I thought of walking out of Hellfire, but having much more fun.

 

Until next time Perverts

 

Feedback

From some of the blogs I read it seems like the polyamorous crew are having a hard time at it.

These young kids are all trying it, and making a mess of things, it is rather entertaining to read though. Now don’t get me wrong I read some blogs for the content, the author just so happens to be in this new trend. I have to admit I usually skip or don’t read about post on this subject, it’s boring.

But this week the reading has been nothing but the trails and tribulations of being “poly.”

 

Like D/s with me I had no clue when I was in a relationship with my boy and my girl it was called polyamorous. I thought like D/s, this is what I like and either you were with it or not. I was upfront about what the rules were and it was not something that took all that much work. Every one knew their role/place and that was that. My best day now being single is much better then the days the poly bloggers are having. Ah, good times. J

 

On another note this week a few folks I know and I were goofing off, yes I’m goofy at times, I don’t take myself that serious. We’re hanging out in a porn shop, yeah New York still has a few, and we started talking about porn names.

One’s name is Girth Brooks, the other is Anaconda Jones, or Puss McGee depending on what I have no clue, while the other one’s name is Dick Thunder. But they all looked at each other when I said I wanted a porn name. They said the name had to fit the crime and since I “swing” both ways plus have a gay man persona, I might need three names. So this was going to take some time. I’m looking forward to it. Anyone got any suggestion?

 

Until next time Perverts

Get your porn on and send me some suggestions

 

Friday

It’s Friday night and I’m prompted to write this from my friend that here with me. We are just hanging out at my place drinking beer and reaching for the fritos in a bowl. He’s flipping from the The Matrix and The Birdcage, of course he has the remote.

 

He’s the kind of friend that I can just hang with and be we can silly together. This post started because of a discussion we had about D/s. 

He asked, “are most nights like this when you’re seeing someone?”

“Yeah,” I replied

“But you’re not doing anything?” he says.

With a sigh I say “but, I am doing something, I’m sitting here enjoying your company. “You’re confused about some things concerning D/s and S/m.”

“It’s all the same to me,” he shrugs his shoulders.

I let it go since I don’t want to have this conversation. He continues to flip between both movies, stops at The Matrix then gets up and gets another beer. He puts one down next to me. I think in my head, good boy but with a little smile I say “thanks.”

I have a feeling he’s going to continue, and he does. “I know there are no difference then being in any other relationship. Except in yours there are times you’re hitting and or torturing the person you say you care for and other times you use that tone.”

“Excuse me? What tone?”

Him: “and there’s the tone. It means you’re going the way of a smacked bottom.”

“I have no intention of smacking anyone’s bottom. I say, and you may not know the intricate details, but you know what I like. So cut the shit.”

 “Yes ma’am, he says with a smile.

The life of a female domme on a Friday night.

 

Until next time Perverts

 

Wake-Up-Screaming

 

I can’t believe because I didn’t attend Testfest I willl not get a signed copy of the Forked Tounge.

First thing Monday morning I’ll be emailing Flagg to get a copy. Yeah it’s on LuLu but I was always one who could do with out the middle man.
So if I can arrange it, and I may have to go over the river and through the woods to get it, a copy will be mine.

Mine I say! Perverts Mine

To Be or Not To Be

I have been thinking about this for a bit now. I can never understand why I sometimes read how some Doms advertise to want to mentor subs, or subs looking for a Dom to mentor them? I could understand it from a counseling stand point, which is a part of mentoring. But they enviably go on to write what they want to be mentored in,  or how they will mentor the sub. For me there lies the problem. I don’t understand why a sub would ask a Dom to mentor them? And here’s what’s even more confusion. They want to be mentored so that when they finally meet their ideal Dom, they will be well trained. Huh?

 

I think in this instance someone who is your peer would make the best mentor, unless ofcourse you plan on moving from one station, submissive to another, Dom. And even then I believe you should start with a mentor where you are at.

 

It must be me, but if I’m going to put that much time and energy into training someone it’s going to be for my benefit. Since how could anyone know what some future Dom may want from their sub? How could some other Dom know how the hell I want my coffee in the morning, or if I want you to walk on the left or the right of me, etc.

 

If someone wants to experience what a single tail feels like, or a cane, flogger I could understand them wanting to learn/ experience those thing by someone. And even then, not everyone does these, thing exactly the same. The best way to gain experience it to put your self out there, granted, a sub has a harder time I believe in doing this. After all they are the ones that are having things done to them. And I can understand the need for a protector of sorts. (not that they are totally safe from protectors either in some cases). And maybe that’s really what they (the subs) are looking for.  And like most things with people, are calling it something they don’t really mean.

 

On the other hand I think that some Doms who want to mentor subs are really using this as a means to get sex.

 

But what do I know

 

Until next time Perverts

Dark Eros

“Everyone has his or her own master of the dungeon who inflicts his special kind of pain: loneliness, unrequited love, jealousy, envy, grief. We speak easily of self torture, but dreams make is clear as do hallucinations of psychotic people, that the inner figure who tortures has a face or several faces. We might understand the telos of torture and the necessity of the Sadeian libertine who haunts the psyche. Often we overlook the libertine within because we assume that the torment is coming from the world, from another person, from some past trauma, or from some social ill. But this is nothing more than sophisticated scapegoat. If a person is suffering then there is someone turning the screws, someone whose job it is to tend the chamber of horrors.” Thomas Moore Dark Eros the Imagination of Sadism  

Finding the Dark Eros within me took a great deal of courage then one would believe. I was asked how could, I live with myself knowing that I enjoy inflicting pain on another’s? Although my sadism is a part of me, hence my life, it’s not all of my life. Living an M/s life or D/s life is not the norm for many people, but it is for a great deal of people. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? But really it’s not I define my life and although society tries to put me in a box all nice and neat so that it may feel comfortable. I refuse to accept or live in that box, albeit neat. Having that conversation started me to thinking. Why Dark Eros? Why embrace that which many may find frightening, even a little dangerous? How can I sleep knowing that I’m able to let the dragon within me out? I sleep fine although at times I suffer from writers block, but that’s over come with time. I have chosen to embrace the dragon, within me. To live a life that brings me joy. I’m a sadist. Not the De Sade kind of sadist; there’s not going to be murder at the end of the evening. The dictionary defines sadism as “the use of pain-inducing actions in order to arouse another to a heightened state of pleasure.” I  get off on whipping, paddling and inflicting as much pain as my partner can possible take, and pushing them just a little farther. Likewise I get off on hearing and seeing a great paddling, whipping and seeing anyone inflicting as much pain as their partner can take. Does this make me a bad person? To some maybe, but I don’t really care about those people. What I do to my partner is consensual, which means that I’m not the only one embracing that which brings me joy. There are many people in this world just like me. Like me they come from all walks of life, social and economics back rounds. Some may think of me a deviant or a pervert. And on some level that maybe true. But I think of myself as living within my Dark Eros.