Maybe

At work I am three out of a staff of 21 who are over 40 years old. It wasn’t always like that but due to restructuring and the like it now is. One of my favorite sayings at the job to some staff members is:

“I know your world began when you were born, but understand a lot of things were here before you got here”. Meaning they are not the only ones living in the world. Or the world doesn’t revolve around them.

Another one is “I wasn’t born this big.” This is usually the reply when I say something that they are shocked to hear from me. I wasn’t born this big is a statement of fact one and is a way of saying I’ve lived longer and have experience they yet to have.

I too have suffered at times when I was younger believing I was the only one who might have thought a certain way. But with time and meeting people I’ve found as my mother would say “you’re not the only one who thinks that.” And she was right. She too wasn’t born that big.

So it really should not have come as a surprise reading a blog that I came across where the young lady with some help wrote up a list of 8 things a dominant woman wanted. The list is a good one and although I’ve as well as others even before the internet have had conversations such as this over the years; I understand it’s new to her. And that’s cool.

But what made me jerk my knee wasn’t the list, but some of what was written in the disclaimer, she wrote “The list probably applies mostly in America, and possibly only on the coasts, and maybe even only to educated, geeky, 20-something, queer-identified dominant women. This is why we welcome reader feedback and peer review!”

Since the word “maybe” is in the above sentence my knee jerk didn’t knock my laptop off its stand. This got me thinking about my own journey, with life. When I was growing up if you were luck, someone older then you would take you under their wing. This was a great opportunity to learn may things and depending on the person and their circle of friends could be one hell of an education. I consider myself one of the lucky ones who had this kind of education.

So, maybe the person doesn’t socialize with people over 20 something? Or maybe they do? Maybe they have no interest in hearing the opinion of people who aren’t 20 something. (I’m assuming here because they asked for peer review. And since I’m not their peer and don’t see an email address to give my thoughts to the discussion, I’d have to reply to the post directly). But, and this is something I’ve heard far too many times with people two generations below me. They don’t have a need to be taken under anyone’s wing. Except with people like themselves, this is like the blind leading the blind.

I can’t help but remember what a young man who said :”I don’t need to be taught by someone I will just learn.” I don’t know how he would learn and not want to be taught but…

Here’s something to ponder “No one was born knowing what they know now. We all had to be taught either through trial and error, or by someone. Being taught by some one does a lot better then have to call 911 because of an error.”

But what do I know I might be wrong? And I’m cool with that… maybe

Bond

It has been a long time since I was in the company of a man that actually stimulted my mind. Tuesday at TES Mike Bond spoke about doing dominance. I only wish I could have stayed longer.

Here are somethings that I learned that evening.

1. There maybe some hope for me yet to come across a man who is smart and funny. And though outwardly serious may not take himself as such.

2. Some people walk around with the declaration of independence (she would have done great on lets make a deal)

 and

3. That for me there are but so many spoon fulls on safety I can take. 

 

Don’t get me wrong doing the things I enjoy takes some being safe, but recently I’ve been thinking if I even wanted to be a part of the public scene. I did fine all those years before. This discussion did more then get me hot,(and I was hot)  but it made me not want to step too far back. This like most things with me will take alot of thought.

I’ll be thinking about this and will try to put my thoughts together on the notes I wrote during the discussion.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

 

I’m one of three presenters tomorrow at TES in an edge play exploratorium. I will be doing caning, Mistress DiDi will be doing breath play and I believe Dov will be doing knife play.

 

Three of my favorite things.

 

All of these some people call edge play, I call it Tuesday, or any day of the week for that matter. There are, like many other things in life three kinds of people. The people who have never tried a thing but know they don’t like it. The ones who have tried it and will not give it another try, and the ones who tried it and found out they loved it and want to do it again.

 

Whatever the “it” is.

 

The first kind of person is like one of my ex he said he would neeeevver eat tofu, only for me to come home one night with him sitting on the couch eating a desert I had made from tofu. Granted he had never tasted tofu but said he would never eat it. So imagine his surprise when I asked how he liked my tofu desert?

I met a sista once who said she hated flogging. One day while she was at my place she saw my red deer skin floggers. She was going on and on about how pretty it was and how soft it was. Girls like pretty things.

Okay so here’s the thing. You know when you getting dressed to go over to a guys place that you’ve been talking to? You know when you getting dressed you want some dick, he know you coming to get some dick. But he’s going to be cool about it he isn’t going to open the door with his dick out, he’s going to wait until you ask for it. And you know and he knows you will.

 

So did I put the flogger out for her to see? Yep, did I act like I wasn’t really listening to her while she went on and on about the flogger? Yep, I knew she was going to ask to be hit with it. And she did .So I spent half the night hitting her, and the other half “hitting” her. I’m such a guy at times.

 

The last kind of person is open to try something and in the process find they love it, and if they are not careful they may become a slut about it, but hey. There’s noting wrong with a slut.

 

The truth is I believe is that things in this way of life that are scary to people they label the edge. I’m afraid of flying, but I don’t call it the edge I call it being afraid of flying.

So we should all start saying what it really is. Yes some things take you to the edge, but flying is not edge play, it called I’m traveling to the Dominican Republic this May. And I’m a bit nervous about getting on the plane.

 

And speaking of the edge, it’s not like only one person is going there. It takes two to get there, or more depending on where you are at.  

 

So I leave some quotes for you to ponder the edge or not.

 

“when you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith knows one of two things will happen. There will be something solid to stand to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”

 

“Come to the edge he said. They said we are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came, he pushed then and they flew.”

 

“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”

 

 “What orbit of planets has put you and me in the place, at this moment?

Where time takes a breath, and we dance on the edge of our dreams?

 

“Suffering, once accepted, loses its edge, for the terror of it lessens, and what remains is generally far more manageable then we had imagined.”

 

“When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.”

 

“You never know what is enough, unless you know what’s more then enough.”

 

“The problem with cutting edge is that someone has to bleed.”

 

Until next time

 

The cynicism you refer to, I acquired the day I discovered I was different from little boys!

 

To The Edge

Hon, that’s dangerous. Fuck yeah it is that’s why I like it.

I got this beautiful knife from Lady Sabrina at Folsom. It’s been sitting on my dresser since then. Every morning I look at it and wonder when I will get to use it?
Knife play is something that is very intimate to me. It brings closeness to things. The knife, sweat and breathing are the only things more palpable in the room then the two bodies the space occupy.

Knife play, along with needles brings a bonding of trust on a level that for nothing else that I do can. Not to say that caning or single tails don’t deserve a level of trust, and can bond people, but knives, and needles can be used as an invasion into the body. There’s always a chance of blood and blood for me binds on a deep level. It says your mine, I’m yours.

What Edge Play Exploratorium
When Tue Jan 27 7:30pm – Tue Jan 27 11pm
Where 260 W 36th, 3rd Floor

Created By
TES
Description
Mistress Didi*s Blissful Breath Play
With safety first, The Mistress Didi* will guide you in the subtleties
and varieties of ways to enhance the thrill of Asphyxiation Play. As
always, you will learn safe and proper approaches to manipulate the
physiology of your Playmate along with techniques and the use of an
array Toys to create truly breath-taking experiences!

Caning with Lady Raven
Lady Raven, a truly sadistic Dominant, will be discussing caning. The
good, the bad and the downright fun. She will also be discussing
safety, care and technique. And hoping to find the answer to the
question, “when did caning become edge play?”

Knives and Pointy Things with Dov
Knives and other sharp objects elicit a primitive and visceral
reaction in people ranging from fear to adoration. They can be used to
cut, scratch, prod, manipulate, mindfuck or any combination you can
think of. This is a class on how to work safely and understand sharp
objects and how they can be used in a scene

Leather Weekend

You would have to have been under a rock not to know that the New York Leather weekend is happening.

 

http://www.newyorkleatherweekend.com/schedule_.html

 

I’ll be volunteering all weekend, Friday I’ll be at the meet and greet and art show.

Saturday I think I’ll be helping out at the silent auction which is also when the public can meet the contestants that are competing.  

It’s all happening at the Center

 

Sunday I’d be open to anyone who’d love to take me to the leather brunch. A sista’s gonna need it. Any where in between 2-7 pm I may get to have some fun by doing a caning demo, any takers?

 

Boot blacking at the Hot Ash bar and street fair, and a shit load of other things happening.

 

Monday I’m hoping to get over to Henrietta Hudson bar and girl, but will be open to everyone. Fun should be had by all.

So for all those hatters who think shit don’t happen in New York come on down. If you dare.

Until next time Perverts 

Happiness Is…

I went to TES to see Lady M present on demystifying the single tail. Imagine my surprise on finding out that she would not be able to present. So there was a substitute teacher as it were, which wasn’t bad. Lolita graciously stepped in. The demo went well; hey it was a single tail demo. I had wished it was a bit more on hands, but maybe it was best that it wasn’t since I did have anyone to hit. But a gal can dream.  

 

After a few of us went out to eat, got to love New York, went to tick tock and I have to say it’s not what it use to be. Service was lousy, I think the waiter thought he was funny, but he wasn’t and he got not one but two of our simple orders wrong. And when I say simple I mean simple, two eggs over hard, not easy and French fries, not sweet potato fries. And if that wasn’t bad enough when Lady Sabrina asked for sweet and low for her ice tea, he told her to stick her finger in. Like I said he thought he was funny. I wanted to slap the shit out of him, but Lady Sabrina said we were ladies and didn’t do that. I kept telling her I was a different kind of lady and that slapping him might get him in line and better service.

 

This got us talking about guys who give no thought to what they say.

Like when they walk up to a woman they don’t know a call her mistress.

When they say they have no limits.

When they say they’ll do anything.

When they say they are into service, but what they really mean is they want to eat some pussy.

When they are asked a question and say what ever make you happy.

Believe it or not this is my favorite line. It’s really the little things with me. I’m simple, so what makes me happy are the little things. So here’s a list of things that would make me happy:

Look at every episode of Xena warrior princes and report back to me what the lesbian hype was about.

Pay my rent for a year or two. And while you’re at it, do my food shopping, house cleaning and cook my meals. Take me shopping at DeMask, I love latex.

 

Before Hellfire closed my sister and I went to have a night of debauchery, which could always be found there. A guy walks up to us and asks mistress can I get you any thing? Right there was his first mistake, but we gave him a pass while still correcting him. I’m no ones mistress. When I ask why he’s here he says, he’s her to do whatever he can to make us happy. Well, me being me and my sister being her. I say “hey sis lets get the jumper cables out the car attach one end to the battery, the end to his balls and start the car?” Her eyes light up, yeah let’s do that. We start to get real excited about the idea. All of the blood left his face and he was totally white. Out of concern we asked if he was alright. “You still want to make us happy right?” I asked to which he replied, we were to hard core for him. He excused himself and my sister and I laughed so hard we almost peed on ourselves. The woman at the bar hearing our conversation, joked saying we were trouble. But she too was laughing.

 

What really makes me happy is a gentleman who has thought out/worked out what he’s looking for in his life.

 

Until next time Perverts

Laugh and the world laughs with you or at you.

Reaching Out and Reaching Within

I went away for a four day conference, debauchery not included. I have to say it was just as good as the first one. Which, I kicked and screamed about not wanting to go two years ago I look forward to going again next year, the best part was watching the younger people there withdraw from not having the internet. You would think since they are so technology driven someone would have thought to bring their laptop? Yep for the first two days all you heard in the elevator and in the halls was “shit, I should have thought to bring my laptop.”

It got so bad that while in the elevator a woman turned to one of them and said, “dear heart, why don’t you use your time in between workshops to talk to people, you know face to face? Get to know people say hello.”

 

She was right, but for some reason I don’t think they got it. I mean she was right. We had the opportunity to get to know people albeit just for a few days and you never know what talking to people might get you. It’s called in some circles networking.

What was strange to me was that they acted like they didn’t know we were in upstate New York. It was five hours away, we didn’t travel back in time to a cave, there’s internet access as well as wireless up there.

 

Moving on to more fun things.

 

Imagine my surprise after firing up the ole laptop to check some things I see that the greatest thing finally happened.

 

Trumpets please…

 

The long awaited book, The Forked Tongue by Flagg is completed.

 

 http://flaggestate.livejournal.com/

 

Check it out, and buy the book if you dare which will be sold at TESfest this July.

 

 I can’t wait to get my copy and hopefully get it signed.

 

Until next time Perverts

Punish Who?

Life has been a bit much, but hope spring eternal.

Some people are like slinkies, they have no practical use whatsoever, but still brings a little smile to my face when you push them down the stairs.

http://picturethisent.com/trailers/punishme-coa-lo.html

 

Until next time Perverts

Sticky Fingers

I’m not feeling good today, and the wonderful thing about accruing sick time at a job is being able to use it. So, sick day. But the Goddess must have has something in mind for today. I got an email from someone I had not heard from for a couple of years, and a request to call. So after my morning coffee, I called.

 

After the call I did some thinking and

 

Why is it that people think just because someone says they are in the M/s, D/s life that people are not still just people? And they come to this with all of their personal bullshit.

So here’s the thing a couple of years ago, I became friends with a woman, we had something in common. We both had the opportunity to have something that if you look around in the straight BD/SM, D/s, M/s community and look at female dominant/ submissive men you didn’t see often if not at all. A black submissive male. Seeing this was like coming across big foot or the loch ness monster, or seeing the Virgin Mary in a slice of pineapple.

 

I learned a lot from her and I hope she learned some things from me. After a few years her slave moved on and although it was mutual it still hurt her and I could understand. I supported and comforted her, because that’s what I believe friends do. Things heal over time and she got pieces of herself back. And we went out and did things together, which at times was difficult since she lived upstate.

She met someone and I soon found out that the some one she met belonged to someone else, and that his Domme worked out of town. She approved of her using him for demos and the like. But it didn’t sit well with me, but who am I to judge?

The more I was around her and this sub the more at least to me it didn’t seem right, and I told her so. She confessed that his Domme did give him permission to demo with her, but that she would volunteer to demo just to be able to use him. As time went on the shit hit the fan and my feelings about the situation came true. The sub left his Domme for her.

Now don’t get me wrong I know there are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth, but…

 

She stole him, and he because he is not without blame, wanted to be stolen.

It wasn’t right and I told her so, which put a great strain on our friendship, but because of this something else came to light. At one time my own slave who loved the cane asked not to be caned by her. She was whispering more then sweet nothings in his ear. So as not to make a big deal of it he asked not to be caned by her, and stayed very close to me, unless otherwise instructed not to.

 

So to the phone call, to tell or not to tell, when you know someone is trying to steal something of yours?

 

Why is it that some submissives will continue to pursue tops, all the while courting someone else? Yet cry over not being able to find anyone?

 

Why do some tops, all the while knowing there maybe some interest in a sub, continue to pursue subs, they know or may know maybe under consideration? Yet cry about how subs are deceitful?  

 

Like I said in the beginning why do we think that folks are not full of shit in and out of the community?

 

I hear a lot that we are to police ourselves, but in the same side of the coin it’s not popular and we all folks want to be popular, right?  

 

Until next time Perverts

I wasn’t popular in high school, nor do I think I am now, so I say TELL

  

 

Godzilla

Last night I had a dream.

 

I sometimes have trouble sleeping, which seemed to have gotten better in the past weeks. But last night I was restless. When I finally went to sleep I dreamt I had tied someone over my bed, I turned to look at the canes that hang on the wall deciding which one to use, which I thought was funny, since they all would give me the desired result. I remember thinking that I miss my English style cane, the one with the curved handle. I picked the cane I got as s gift from Mistress Nona. I leaned on the bed to whisper something in their ear. “This is going to hurt.” And I could hear them moan, not that they were gagged just a pair of my panties in their mouth.

 

A little light tapping along the ass and thighs, I upped my speed a little, then a little more. Soon the only thing I could hear was the sound of the cane moving through the air and hitting its target and the continued moans of the person. I could see from the light coming through my bedroom window that welts were rising. I looked at my handy work. By now the room was hot with the smell of sweat and pain. (If pain has a scent). I leaned again on the bed and asked, “are you done?” I could smell that they were sweating and trying to control their breathing through their nose. “I’ll take your silence as a no.” and I could hear the cane again moving through the air and hitting its target.

 

In the dream I could feel that my arm was getting tiered and I wanted to stop but I couldn’t, well I didn’t want to.

 

I woke up because I felt the sheets were wet. My first thought was, did I pee the bed? My arm was hurting (had feel asleep) and I had been sweating so much that the sheets were wet. I thought I had a wet dream, but at my age that would be a stretch. I was light headed as I got up to get some water. While sitting on the edge of the bed I had a cigarette and thought, I’ve got to whip some ass soon or I might turn into Godzilla trampling Japan.

 

  Until next time Perverts